1992 New Hampshire Presidential Primary


                           Vermin Supreme
Flyer - opens to 8 1/2" x 11".

The Friendly Fascist, A Tyrant You Can Trust.
Vermin Supreme!
Let Him Run Your Life Because He Knows What's Best For You

P.O. Box 2384PigeonCave, Ma01966
Vermin Supreme reserves the right to deny everything.



Vermin Supreme!

Greetnings Citizens,
Hello. Who am I? And if so Why? Yes, these are just some of the many questions that I would like to address in this limited space right here, right now. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Vermin Supreme. It has recently come to my attention that I, Vermin Supreme, am a candidate for the most auspicious and dignified office of that which for I am running, right now as we speak. But before I do unveil a portion of my 57 point plan to improve our beautiful city, the finest city, the most charming city, the most desirable urban mecca of it's size, in it's geographic location today, let me say that I Vermin Supreme is (or is it am) first and foremost a politician .. Let me also point out that all politicians are, in fact, vermin .. I am the Vermin Supreme, therefore I am without question the most qualified candidate in this race, at this time. Yes, I am Vermin Supreme, that is my name. Yes, I am a politician, that's my job. Of course, as a politician I shall lie to you, because I am a politician, and I have no reason not to.

Yes, because I am a politician, I shall promise you anything. Yes, anything your little electorate heart desires, because you are my constituents, because you are the informed voting public, and because I have no intention of keeping any promise that I make. As I say, I am a politician. I am not above graft. l am not above corruption .. Please let me assure you that I shall take bribes only when profitable to do so. Remember, I am the people's candidate, and after all, you are the people.
I pledge to be an all accessible pubic servant, an office holder who will listen to you.Yes, if you have a suggestion as to how to make this city run smoother, I shall be listening to you. Yes, if you have a street lamp or pothole that needs repair, I shall be listening to you. Yes, if you have a traffic ticket that needs to be fixed, or are having difficulties obtaining inflated city contracts for shoddy services, I shall be listening to you. I may not do anything about it...and I may not actually be listening, I may just be politely nodding my head and smiling... However, if you have a political favor to ask and are sure to make a generous contribution to my de-election kick back slush fund, well, then by golly, you can be damn sure that I will be listening to you. Remember, there are still several high level appointed positions available, in my administration, to the highest bidder. Also remember that I would of course, buy your votes, if I could afford it. Also please remember this, my official campaign slogan: A vote for Vermin Supreme is a vote completely thrown away. Thank you.
Hizzexcellency   VERMIN SUPREME!



Where Vermin Supreme stands on some of the most pressing issues of the day...
Institutional corruption
Separate but equal opportunity unemployment
Leaky nuclear reactors
Toxic spewing trash incinerators
Bioengineering for purposes other than germ warfare
Infected needle distribution program
Intrusive surveillance and intelligence gathering
Forced sterilization of minorities on demand
Torture of curfew violators
Death camps for AIDS victims
Killing people who kill people
Psychotropic drugs to lobotomize the "mentally ill"
Reforming prisons into crematoriums
Just say execution of drug users on the spot
Starving the elderly
Vivisection for the fun of it
Using aborted fetuses to feed the hungry
Disarmament through deployment
All with handicap access of course
 
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The decision to vote for Vermin Supreme! is the last decision you 'II ever have to make.

P.O.Box 2384PigeonCave, Ma01966




Flyer - opens to 11" x 8 1/2".

VERMIN SUPREME
The Friendly Fascist, A Tyrant You Can Trust.
Let Him Run Your Life Because He Knows What's Best For You

P.O.Box 2384PigeonCave, Ma01966
Vermin Supreme reserves the right to deny everything.
 
Vermin Supreme represents many abstract, emotionally charged buzzwords, such as freedom, justice, law, order, liberty, and democracy, just to name a few. So let's take a look at some of Vermin Supreme's 57 point plan to bring our fair city into the 23rd century, shall we? And remember, these programs are, of course, for your own good . . . .



Vermin Supreme promises:
  • To do something about the weather ...  "Too damn hot" in the summer ... "Too damn cold" in the winter. Possibilities under study include: a.) weather dome over the entire city for climate control b.) physical relocation of the entire city to a more hospitable climate or c.) simply throwing out anyone who com­plains.
  • Since individual liberties can be counterproductive to a smooth running corporate climate, and since police represent law and order, marshal law will be imposed upon election (or coup d'etat, whichever comes first).
  • To make crime against the law! Combat illiterates! Fight the unemployed! And stop pregnant teenagers! These statistics can easily he lowered by manipulating the figures on which they're based.
  • Polygraph, drug tests, and loyalty oaths for all citizens, along with the issuance of citizens identity cards, radio transmitter implants, and laser fingerprint tattoos to keep track of you, and your children, for your protection. Remember, no one's a criminal until we say you are.
  • To utilize the powers of eminent domain to demolish some of the more tasteless structures in town. Require vinyl siding on all historical landmarks preserving our cultural heritage for future generations or tourists to come.
 
Vermin Supreme also promises:
  • To appoint lots or committees to look into all sorts of things.
  • To tax the bejeezus out of everything.
  • To pave over everything that hasn't been paved over yet.
  • Legislation to make teeth brushing after every meal mandatory.
  • Free pizza and beer for everybody.

 
SO CONFIDENT IN HIS ABILITY TO LEAD
SO EAGER TO IMPOSE HIS WILL ON THE PEOPLE ...
 

Vermin Supreme has already ordered a feasibility study on the possibility of taking his rightful office through force if necessary, but in all moderation has promised to call in an air strike only if really, really necessary. Vermin Supreme shall he held unaccountable to no one. Yes, some politicians are above the law, They make them. Vermin Supreme knows that you, the public, will believe anything you are told. Yes, through continuing miseducation, controlled media, and lots of cheerful euphemisms, you'II never know what hit you.
Remember, work will make you free.


Vermin Supreme promises:
  •  Making dangerous weapons available to anyone who wants them in order to help facilitate the formation of a government-sponsored vigilante, death squad, lynch mob militia to help take the law back into our own hands. To help in the selected elimination of certain anarchists, communist, street scum, and other troublemakers to be defined at whim and subject to change without warning.
  •   Massive and arbitrary censorship of anything found offensive by an appointed truth and morality squad. Severe restriction on information that could be harmful to you or your children, because as we all know, what you don't know can't hurt you.
  •  To make the homeless disappear. Poof! As if by magic, presto chango. Out of sight, out of mind. Where did they go? Oh, well, you don't really want to know now, do you? Nope, not really. I didn't think so.
  • To achieve nuclear capability for little towns, taking no more guff from neighboring municipalities over contaminating "their" groundwater and other such "sour grapes".
  •  Placement of lots of little toxic biochemical, hazardous and/or nuclear waste dumps in your backyard. We must all share in the burden of disposal.
  •  Legalization of prostitution and gambling along with the promotion of professional sports, video arcades, and crack houses together with other mindless forms of diversion to help you take your mind off what's really going on.